Okay, I was looking for a photo for my blog post and came across this picture. Who in the heck is that? And why didn't we see it on the episode? What in the world? Is that not the most random, weird pic ever? Someone please explain it to me!
Okay, first of all you have to know that this has been THE MOST boring season of The Bachelorette ever. Ashley is snooze fest. I don't think there has ever been someone who has acted as disinterested in all her suitors as she has. She's cute, but the least cute out of any bachelorette we've ever seen. I'd be willing to forgive that fact if she was at least remotely interesting.
She's not.
A few things I noticed from last night's (and previous) episodes:
Ashley is totally and completely bowlegged. Skinny jeans accentuate this fact.
Ben and Constantine are both greasy, unshowered looking guys with the exact same hair and face. They are basically the same person. It has taken me up until now just to be able to tell them apart.
Last night I felt like I was watching 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding'. I was waiting for one of the aunts to tell about the 'twin' from the lump she found in her neck...with a spinal column and hair. Nice music to match, Bach producers. Even the Dad was just like the Dad in the movie...minus talking about Windex cure-all's.
Ben and Ashley kissing each other is odd and gross and ... weird... and noisy. With lots of stops and starts.
Ashley is boring.
Ashley is boring.
It's a good thing Ben's mom doesn't have long, wavy, greasy hair parted in the middle. Otherwise you wouldn't be able to tell she and Ben apart.
Is Ben's mom Martha Stewart's sister? They talk the same. Exactly. "It's a good thing".
I can't handle anymore of Ashley's white, see-through, boxy tunics.
JP is clearly the frontrunner. Most chemistry, best fit.
But who the crap is singing 'I can't fight this feeling anymore' on their cheesy rollerskating date? Quite possibly the worst rendition ever. I kept looking for a karaoke man in the corner or something, but there was none to be found.
Okay, Ames...
I know there are a lot of people who think he's strange, but even though I don't think he meshed with Ashley, I think he is quite possibly the nicest guy who's ever been on the Bach. He's handsome, charming, and a gentleman. Okay, he's a little unique looking and he has gigantic teeth... but I still think he's nice. Did you see his poor face when he got eliminated? He was so confused! (Maybe he never recovered from his head injury in the pink shorts, boxing match) Poor Ames! And he still smiled the entire time. It was a strange smile, but still... I wondered for a second if he just can't close his mouth over his large teeth, but then he did in the limo so I wasn't worried anymore. Seriously one of the saddest exits EVER! He deserves someone classy and nice just like him.
Ames and Hercules look like twins, no?
I can't wait for next week because it looks like it might not be as boring. A little drama, maybe? JP has a hidden secret? Ashley's tatooed-all-over sister doesn't approve? Lots of tears!!! Don't hold your breath, but I might actually be excited to watch next week! Quite possibly the most dramatic ceremony ever!!
Thoughts?
Something to make this less boring for me maybe?
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11 comments:
Once again...you.nailed.it. 'nuff said.
and...I'm laughing sooo hard over the Ames/Hercules pics. Genius.
This is going to be a little long,
I think that is Ben in the picture.
I have said from the beginning that Ben and Coni aka Constantine, look like Josh Groban's ugly brothers.
I noticed that she is really bowlegged last night too, like...REALLY bowlegged.
Oh Ames, at first I made fun of him but he really grew on me (like a twin/mole on my back) He is way too nice for Ashley. I also thought he needed to smile a little less and just loosen up! He looked much cuter (albeit sadder) in the limo after he got the boot, but he just looked so much less robotic.
JP is the best fit and the best kisser (hello!) I think she will end up with him in the end.
Thanks so much for posting about it!!
I already posted my thoughts on our little facebook chain, but I will indulge you here. I am 100% agreed with everything but AMES. At first, I liked him, and now. . .I don't. He is WAY too stiff, and last night, that smile was down right CREEPY. I mean, that confused deer in the headlights thing is NOT MUEY MACHO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Not a turn on AT All. No chemistry, zipo, zilch... I mean, yes, you LIKE him. . . but let's face it. You wouldn't want to kiss him either!!! TOO ROBOT!!!
I love, love, LOVE your posts! I don't watch The Bachelor/ette but I so enjoy and get a kick out of your views and opinions on all things bachelor/ette. Thanks for the laughs today, I needed it!
They can't even edit the fact that 1. Ashley is hot for JP. No suspense at all.
2. Ames is brilliant, Ashley looked like a bored deer in the headlights whenever he talked, she didn't understand a word he said. Can you say "dumb as a fence post?".
3. Ashley wants excitement, Ben's family is way too sedate.
4. Constantine and Ben are definitely twins...DNA test, STAT.
5. I personally CANNOT wait for the good sister/wild sister confrontation. I hope it's even longer and better than the tease.
6. I hope Bentley is the next Bachelor and that someone does a little b---busting on him.
7. Ashley is a bit of a sleaze in my book, physical stuff is her main focus. Yeah, good luck with that Ash. Eventually you do have to have real conversations.
Amen
I haven't been able to handle watching this season.....it really has been soooooo boring!
I never watch the show, but your posts make me laugh. I just can't take the show seriously! It is all too funny!!!! Good post!
I think that Ben looks like the Geico Caveman, just less hairy. Constantine has grown on me, I didn't like him at all at first. The same thing with Ames. I like JP, I think he's going to make it in the end.
I've only seen two seasons of the Bachelorette and I'm glad it's not just me that's bored out of my skull. (I fell asleep watching a couple of the episodes.) When I watched last seasons with Ali, I was up til 3:00-3:30 in the morning catching up on Hulu. Now, I watch it because it's a train wreck and I can't sleep haha!
Yay! I love these posts! Ames totally resembles Hercules! Holy cow. I love that dude. I didn't think they meshed at all, but he's so nice and charming. I actually wouldn't mind if he was the next Bachelor...as long as all the girls knew it was him. He's not super cute, but he's still a catch. Hmmm...what else...yep, it took me a while to differentiate between Constantine and Ben. Dan always says they look like unevolved monkeys. Constantine is boring and Ben always acts so awkward. JP is hot, but in the real world, it's hard to imagine them working out. I don't know. Who is it that's coming back?? I was trying to study those feet in the preview, but I can't figure it out. Darn. Maybe it's that nice dude, with the chipmunk cheeks, that got sent home prematurely on that 2 on 1, because of that jerk kid that lied. It kinda looked like his feet :) Bachelorette finale party at MY house...
I agree 100%! And Ames...creepy. I think he looks like he has held in too many farts and the fart clouds were beginning to seep through his "cracks". I should know, since I refuse to fart infront of my husband. I get that same, stoic, smile, when I'm holding them in.
(I just know that you are looking back at our friendship-history, trying to see if that "look" ever appeared on my face)
JP is rugged and hot and I think he can do so much better than Ashley. She's such a nit-wit!
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