I'm Alive, I Swear

Were you wondering if I was ever going to blog again? I was. I still sort of am, actually. And in case you're wondering if I'm ever going to do the Ali-ette update, the answer is ...uh... no. Does anyone care anymore?



It's true what they say about the third child shaking things up a bit. Though I am relishing EVERY TINY second with newborn Gray, I feel as though I must manage my time to PERFECTION in order have things completed and be productive during the day. It's about as opposite of the bedrest I was on as you can get.

Baby Gray - 6 Days old


I have been sinking myself into workouts and calorie counting. I knew I would be after the baby was born. I get a little crazy about baby weight and not being able to fit into anything. And who wants to buy fat clothes? Not me. I started my workouts at about three weeks postpartum and also started cutting calories. I didn't get really serious about my workouts, however, until Gray was 5 weeks old when I started bringing him to the gym with me. I had major fear about bringing him around all the germy little kids, but I had to get over it for my own sanity. He's in his carseat sleeping or being held by a volunteer the majority of the time anyway and I've never peeked in there and seen booger nosed children wiping their boogie men on my new baby so that's a good thing. My workouts not only help me physicially, but mentally too. I feel like I can get through the day and be a better mom if I have an hour or so to myself. But they are time consuming.

Gray is about the best baby EVER. He's always happy when he's held and mostly happy if he can at least see me. For instance, I can put him in his bouncer and blow dry my hair and do my makeup and he'll be happy the whole time because he gets to gaze into my eyes. It's true. He loves me. He's my most cuddly baby and he loves to suck on his fist. He's the sweetest and I'm soaking up every newborn second with him and wishing he could just stay tiny forever. I've been waiting for this for a long time so I'm really INTO him right now and I have a hard time putting him down because of my constant fear I'm going to miss out on something if I do. If only I had a maid to clean my house and a chef to cook my meals, I'd be all set!

My other kids are taking to him really well too.
Gray 8 days old


When I was on bedrest, Faith went through a really weird clingy period and had a hard time being left for my Dr. appts. and also nursery at church. Thankfully, going back to the gym seems to have wiped that fear away and she's back to her same perky self, screaming tantrums included.

Ever since Levi went back to school, he's been really happy too. He suffered from a case of severe boredom the entire month of July and also had to endure being my slave as I was in the last couple weeks of pregnancy. Poor child. He seems happy to have his life back and be with friends again. He really enjoys learning and I love his teachers this year. He has two. One works Monday and Tuesday and the other works Thursday and Friday and then they switch off on Wednesdays (early day). He seems to have a lot of homework, but I've been so impressed with their method of teaching and how hands on they are, I haven't minded. But it is one more thing that keeps me busy.

Gray - One week old
(notice the pink bouncer. I cover it up with a blue blanket most of the time, however, so baby Gray can feel more manly.)


I have been nursing exclusively and it's going better than it ever has before. I think experience helps for sure and I'm more patient this time around too. Nursing isn't for the weak. It's an incredibly time consuming task. No one can help you with it. And seriously, during the first few weeks, what's the point of even wearing a shirt? Boobies are out constantly. Breastfeeding is something I really enjoy doing. It is a sacrifice for me in many ways because I have a harder time losing the weight until after I'm finished. I'm trying to remedy that this time around by working harder. So far, it's going better than expected and I'm at a lighter weight at this point than I was after having Faith. Hard work pays off, but it's finding a happy balance that I struggle with. I plan on breastfeeding for at least a year like I did with Faith. At the end of the year with Faith, I really felt like I had given her a gift and it's not to say I'm judgemental of those who don't breastfeed, but I just figure if it's something you're capable of doing, then why not?

As for finding a happy balance, it gets tricky. For instance, there is nothing I'd love more than to hold Gray all day long and gaze at him and kiss his delicious neck. He is seriously yummy and I can't get enough of him. I'd also love to be at the gym all day long. I never get sick of it. I really enjoy blogging and wish I had the time to blog every single day with all the cute things my kids are doing and the latest of what we've been up to. And don't forget the house and cute decorations and delicious dinners at the end of the day. And then there's home work, house work, social events with friends and Dr. appts. I take my hat off to mothers who work outside the home because if I can't find a balance working INSIDE the home, I don't know how they do it outside. There are some remarkable working mothers out there who seem to do it all a lot better than I ever could. As you can imagine, several of the above items are turning out sub par. The dinners around here, for instance, are NOT glorious. I'm all about the quick and easy meals. So if you have recipes like that, send them my way. It's a good thing I'm married to someone who takes it all in stride.


Gray - 6 days old


Just one of the many reasons I stayed away from blogging recently was the fact that my computer crashed shortly after I had Gray. Consequently, I lost ALL of my pictures from 2010. Thankfully, I have the ones from my blog, but my blogging had been slacking and there were several pictures very special to me that I no longer have. The only reason I even have the ones from before 2010 is because my brother saved my backup from the last time he fixed my computer. I'm SOOO grateful. I've cried enough tears to last a lifetime over just the ones from 2010. I can't imagine if I lost everything I had. So take this as a lesson to backup your files. I finally signed on with Mozy, an online backup system, and everything from here on out will now be backed up. The cost is minimal-- just $5 bucks a month. Do it. I can send my hard drive to a special recovery service in California, but it could cost upwards of $300-$600 dollars. One day I'd love to send it there and get everything back.



Um.... I've been working on this post since last night at 10 pm. I've been picking at it all day today and it is now 8:30 pm. I wonder if this is indicative of how much blogging I'll be doing in the near future. Hmmm...


Baby Gray, 8 days old



The order of events in this post is severely random, but here's a few things that have happened since I last blogged:

Countless Dr. appts. for this, that and the other
School started
Computer crashed
Pinewood Derby
Gray's blessing Day
I got braces off
Levi got braces on
Gigantic elk hunt for John. I will be the proud owner of a gigantic elk head in my entryway in the very near future. Wish me luck with my sanity.
Sibling trip to Washington.

I really do need to blog about all of these things. And how big is it to finally have my braces off?! It's HUGE! I am loving my new teeth. Can't wait to post a pic and show you.

My three gorgeous kids. Gray - 2 weeks old



I have tons more cute pics of baby Gray, but photobucket is giving me a headache and my computer is running slow so hopefully I can get them up soon. I'm crossing my fingers for a post a week, but don't hold me to it!

Weaning Woes and Weaning Whoo Hoo's!

Faith and me on her birthday 6/16/08

It is done. The breastfeeding, that is. I can't believe that I lasted as long as I did. 13 and a half months. My last day was Sunday, the 27th. I kept telling people that Sunday was going to be my last day and people would look at me and cock their head to the side like they didn't believe me. And I don't blame them. I didn't really believe myself even when I said it out loud. In fact, when Sunday morning came around and I was giving the so-called 'last feeding', I thought to myself that I'd quit the next day instead. And then Monday morning came and I just didn't want to make a big THING out of it. So I got her out of her crib and came downstairs. And that was it. She's pulled at my shirt a couple times, but the moo cow is now empty. It's gone. All gone. So I guess that makes it official.

(Thanks for the blog idea, Stephanie)

Reasons to have woes:

• No more quiet time with Faith while she gazes into my eyes lovingly and rubs my hair and my back.
• No more feeling like I have a little baby who depends on me for nourishment.
• I have to fast again.
• I can't sleep in the recliner when she wakes up in the morning and use it as an excuse to sleep just a litte longer.
• In fact, I can't sit in the recliner at all as she associates it with nursing.
• I'm thinking that Faith's BM's might not be as reliable since she's having whole milk now, but so far she's fine.
• My boobs are going to get smaller.

Reasons to Whoo Hoo!:

• I get to fast again.
• My boobs are going to be smaller which hopefully means I get smaller in other places.
• I'm counting on losing that 'last ten pounds' that people say you lose after you give up breastfeeding. It's going to just fall off. Right? RIGHT??!!!
• Caffeine is calling my name and that makes me so happy.
• I get to get a new bra.
• My g's will no longer be stretched out and ruined from yanking them down because I got sick of the nursing g's and nursing bras.
• I can go on a girls overnighter with my sisters and my favorite cousin next week and not worry about the poor starving baby at home.
• John can get up now with the baby instead of me on the VERY RARE occasion that she might wake up. Right, John?
• No more biting and bruising.
• No more planning my days and evenings around nursing. I'm free!Now I get to dream about having another one and doing it all over again.

A little video of Faith and the new game she likes to play. This is what she sounds like ALL DAY LONG. I am totally and completely in love with her loud little girl voice.

(Pause my music on the left-hand side so that you can hear Faith in all her adorableness)

Some Ramblings...

As I sit here at this computer with only the glow from it to light up this dark room, the baby is asleep in her swing. The dishes are waiting for me. We had cold cereal for dinner tonight. I was an extra special chef. I'm sure John is very, very appreciative. I got cute today. I got dressed up (for me anyway) and went to lunch with my in-laws and I had a great time. I got out of the house. I got the baby cute too. I did my hair (hey, it takes a special occasion sometimes) and I left. I got the most divine salmon salad EVER. I had fun. I did. But... nobody said anything about my weight loss. Okay. I realize that it's stupid that I need someone to say something to me. I do. I get it. But... just the same it sure is nice to be noticed now and then. I'm funny about compliments though. I don't take them well when I actually get them, but just the same I sure do appreciate them. I like it when a compliment feels really sincere and not just like someone is saying it just for the sake of making you feel good. As for my weight, I'm looking more and more like my normal self. I can finally feel my ribcage again. I can feel my collarbone. I could feel it before, but not this well. This is going to sound weird, but when I lift up my shirt to nurse it sure is a lot easier than it used to be. So... I know "those" are smaller too. Which is sad, but oh so good when it comes to getting your shirts to fit better. Anyway... I'm just sayin'.

On to my next rambling...

Levi has been on one lately. I know I had a recent entry about my space and how he's so in it all the time. Well... it really is at an all time high. He asks the following questions several times a day, "What can I do?" "What can you do for me?" "What can I have?" " What snacks do we have?" "Will you play a game with me?" "Will you snuggle with me?" "Now what?" "What comes after this?" "And then what's after that?" "How many minutes until..." "What's for dinner?" "I DON'T WANT THAT FOR DINNER!!!!" "Will you give me somethin'?" "Will you sit on my bed and talk to me?" "Can I go outside?" "Can I go to the bathroom? (I'm not kidding!!)"

Levi rummages through drawers. He opens the pantry A LOT. He walks in front of me and then comes to a fast halt so that I trip over him A LOT. He's very particular about his clothes. He cannot, I repeat cannot get enough of long sleeves. He's basking in the fact that he can wear them every day now. He insists that I WATCH him get dressed every morning and that I dry every nook and cranny of his body after a bath so that there is not one drop of moisture ANYWHERE! He thinks that if I comb his hair completely forward he will look just like Harry Potter. He's a very, very, very loud SINGER. He is a good one though and I'm convinced it will turn into a musical gift but for now... it's loud (but still very cute and funny sometimes). He's a very, very, very, very, very finicky eater. He is very defiant to try new things. He's overly sensitive.

Now onto his great qualities:

He's overly sensitive. He's very understanding if I have a bad day and when I need some time alone. Now, I know I've also complained about him not giving me time alone, but he does seem to try. He loves to be with me and is very loving. He says over and over again throughout the day how much he loves me. He loves to play the "favorite" game with me. For example: What's your favorite color? What's your favorite food? What's your favorite thing to do? etc. He loves being a big brother and simply adores Faith. He sings Faith the sweetest songs. He gives great prayers and blessings on the food and sometimes will sneak a blessing for me in there and then looks up at me when he's done so that I can compliment him. He loves his Daddy. He simply cannot get enough of him when he comes home. He's a good helper and makes his bed every single day without ever being asked. He loves it when his room is clean. He feels badly when someone is sick or afflicted in any way. He's good about me leaving now and then to go on a date and is always good for his babysitters. He's good for his teachers and sweet to his friends. He doesn't fight. He's honest. He never lies to me. He gives the best hugs EVER. He's very creative and has a very vivid imagination. Sometimes I hear him talking to himself and telling stories and he's just so imaginative. He's gorgeous. Everyone says so, so I know it's true. He's so irresistible that it makes all his little nuisances throughout the day bearable and lovable.