It's getting crazy at the Bachelor house. Lots of tears. Lot of heartache and lots of saying, 'I'm falling for you' by all parties.
Thoughts starting from the beginning:
- Gia's mom was totally scary. I don't know if it's just the heavy New York accent or the fact that she reminded me of a card/palm reader on the street from the get-go. I could almost picture her on the side of the road with a gypsy veil on and beads everywhere. And believe it or not... I actually thought this about her BEFORE she read Jake's cards at the end. Call me 'Psychic Holly' if you must. Also, I have to add that Gia's mom's skirt was too short. Like... WAY too short. There isn't a lot I have to say about Gia. I think she would have been the one to go had Ali not been an idiot. Gia is next on the chopping block. Her family belongs on 'The Sopranos'.
- Ali's date. Okay, was it just me or when the camera showed Ali walking in her hometown, did it not remind you of that Seinfeld episode where Molly Shannon played the girl who doesn't swing her arms when she walks? I'd post a link, but I couldn't find one. But seriously... Ali's arms were glued to her side. It was odd. Ali's Grandma story was so sweet and the chemistry was completely there. I wanted to live in her Grandma's cute little house (ya know, as long as it wasn't haunted or anything).
- The Tenley date. How do I put this? The dancing just made me uncomfortable and embarrassed! I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. It's funny how Tenley kept saying that Jake was lit up when he watched her. All I saw in his reaction was, "Why are you doing this to me? WHY, WHY, WHY??" But seriously, besides that Tenley and Jake were cute together. And I wanted Tenley's coat. Her parents were by FAR my fave. So sweet, so caring. They really love her and want the best for her. And both parents crying? Ahhhh... so touching. Oh, and I forgot to mention... NICE CALVES, Tenley!
- Vienna. Oh, Vienna. Your shorts were way too short and your way too slutty. I think all Jake sees in you is sexual and I don't get it. Did you hear that, America? I DON'T GET IT!!! Vienna is the wild one for Jake. The one he can be 'free' with or something. It's odd. Oh, and how embarrassing was it when her DAD walked in on them making out?! And you KNOW he totally did it on purpose. Get out NOW, Jake! Didn't it give you a huge red flag when you brought up the other girls hating her and her parents were NOT surprised and even said she's dealt with that her whole life?? RED FLAG! RED FLAG!!! Her Dad would send any guy running (A promise ring??!!!). But hey, at least we got to see where Vienna got her pretty eyes from.
To Vienna, from Holly:
You may think and say that you look beautiful and glowing when you're with Jake and that everyone can see it, but when I see you, all I see is this:
Moving on to the 'Most Dramatic Moment of the Night!'
Ali, Ali, Ali. You are STUPID!! First of all, your hair was at its worst. I'll forgive you, however, because you had obviously had a hard day. And ya know what? It showed, girl.
Also, although I felt really REALLY bad for you, your whiny weird baby/possibly drunk voice sort of sent me over the edge. You put Jake in a really bad position and I don't think he could have said anything sweeter to you than what he said. Um, were you not listening? And then you actually TELL him you love him. You say it OUT LOUD and you choose your job instead? Your own mother even told you that it would be fine to leave your job. I think you know you made a bad choice. And that's why I'm willing to forgive your VERY BAD HAIR and weird whiny way about you. I still hope you come back. I do. I'm really forgiving that way.
But if Ali doesn't come back... Tenley is my pick. Besides the super embarrassing dancing, how cute is Tenley? I love her!
Okay. Let loose. I need your thoughts!!
.jpg)
.JPG)
22 comments:
I can vouch for Holly that she really did say that about Gia's card-reading mama (before watching the show). Sheesh, I thought I was the only psychic one in the family!! Um, I LOVE the donkey pic! It tickles my innards. Tenley is my favorite and I think Ali was super whiney. Why does she walk like she's constipated? Why? I was totally bugged how she kept draping her legs all over Jake, there at the end. Why do they all do that? Especially since they all know that he's that way with all the girls. That would make me want to stop! I think Gia's the next to go. And yes, I do think they're may be some scripting going on. I had a few hiney cringes that led me to believe this. Aaarrrghgh!!
HAHHAHAAH! That donkey picture had me laughing out loud - very loud! I love that you really know that these people are like before they show their sides. Crazy that Ali chose her job over him.
Oh my gosh I laughed SO hard at the Seinfeld reference. I'm so glad you were able to find funny things about tonight because all it did was freaking bug me. I thought Vienna's dad looked like a total backwoods, scary guy (but didn't want to blog that because it would be mean - ha!) And the dancing, while lovely, was horribly embarrassing to watch even though that Tenley is just a doll. And I loved her crying family. But like I said in my blog, I think they just threw in that "can I propose to your daughter" line to just throw us off. I'm just mad at the show tonight. Boo hiss.
What's up with Gia and her flash dance tops. She wears one every week.
I felt awkward during Tenley's dance too.
You know that Ali will be coming back...another Ed.
I thought he would dump Vienna.
It was a great episode.
Do you think he asked all the parents for their blessing if he proposed or just the ones they showed?
Who didn't get a rose? I didn't get to watch but now I am curious because I want George Washington hairdo to get cut.
You are hilarious.. I totally noticed the hooker-ish skirt length on Gia's mom too!!! Hilarious. Your take cracks me up. I thought last nights home town dates were BORING... until you brought up all that funny stuff. . . Oh why oh why can't we watch it togethe via skype or something. We ought to think about that... Now, to ALI. THE HAIR. Please could she have looked any worse, and to be honest, if that was the LAST IMAGE I saw of her while she was walking away... if she came back I would say... Um, no thanks. And it looks like that is exactly what Jake does... :)
I'm so glad I read this at home rather than in class (what else am I supposed to do during lectures on demographics). When I saw the donkey picture I laughed out loud. And that says a lot. I very rarely laugh out loud- I'm much too boring, up tight, or something. I think you were right on with everything! Loved your update!!
Wow.
Ali will totally come back. I think she's playing him. She's still my fav, though.
The dance...oh, the dancing. So unbelievably awkward. She's sweet, but probably not ready to get married. Again.
I like Gia, bit don't think they make a good pair.
Vienna. Yuck.
I actually had a moment to watch last night and caught the Tenley dance thing. I was really uncomfortable and thought it was wrong. Why was her divorce so awful, besides the fact that divorce is awful? Really liked her family though.
I don't think I've laughed so much in a year! Seriously Gia's 110 pound brother saying " I'll have to hunt you down and cut off some legs or something." Right. Tenley's dance routine, hee, hee, goof ball. Ali's walk was funny, but her skinny pants did nothing to hide those birthing hips of hers. I don't know who can watch this show and not think it's not scripted. Jakey is so fakey I could puke. He said almost the exact same things to every parent and all the girls after all thier dates. And honestly girls, how can you all make out with him and not think in your mind- I'm making out with three other women. Gross. In a world with h1n1, herpes, gingivitis, etc.... you would think they would be more careful. Boo-hoo Ali, poor baby. Come now we all know that we haven't seen the last of her. That part was totally thrown in there for the drama. Jake didn't seem to upset at the rose ceremony though. He was all smiles. Maybe it's because he knows now he gets to sample the goods next....the hussy.
These hometowns were super boring. I feel like I don't know anything about Jake based on the girls personalities that he has chosen thus far. Perplexed!!
I think that Jake secretly LOVED it that Ali left because he didn't have to make a decision. Isn't it a little creepy for a 32 year old to be dating a 23 year old? (Vienna) And who knew that Vienna had already been married? I guess I forgot that part. Ali is an idiot. Her hair was at a new low at the rose ceremony and that dress- let's face it- took her boobs to a new low too- NOT flattering. The dance, the dance, the dance- to a typical wedding march song. I was embarrassed for her too. I don't get Jake & Gia at all. I think Ali was the best one for him- although getting a job at facebook might be worth walking away from the ultimate cheese ball/weenus- Jake.
I couldn't wait to log in this morning and read your recap. Right on, sister! Ali was my favorite until she totally flaked out about the job thing. I was doing my best to empathize with her, because it's not an easy thing to handle. But put on your big girl panties and DEAL! I was not surprised at all to see that she calls him during next week's episode, I saw that one coming as soon as she got in the limo to leave. Dumbass.
Vienna NEEDS TO GO. Not only is she hard to look at (hee haw!) but she would be a horrible match for Jake. Treat her like a princess? Puh-lease. And when they were talking about how many car crashes she's had, I couldn't help but think... do you really want her to drive your kids around??
And yeah, I could hardly watch Tenley's dance, and it was obvious Jake was uncomfortable too.
Sadly, though, I think Gia was going to be dismissed first, and I think Tenley would go next, and he would leave Vienna and Ali for last.
I haven't been watching, mainly because I can't stand Jake, he bugs. So I can't give to much opinion, but I did watch the part when Ali was deciding to leave. All I could think is FAKE FAKE FAKE. Maybe that's her personality, but it was bugging me so bad :)
Funny re-cap though and yeah Vienna does resemble a donkey
The donkey pic brought on a horrible bout of my "smoker's cough" that I have right now, because I was laughing so hard. Tears running down cheeks. Hack. Phlem. Hack.
Tenley's dance was as uncomfortable as a hemorrhoid. I once had an ex-boyfriend that serenaded me. In my mind I was thinking, "Please. Don't." (nervous uncomfortable smile, that tried to hide my REAL inner feelings) Blech! But I'm afraid he won't pick her because of her recent divorce. Too much baggage.
Gia is a hotty but comes from mob roots. I "predict" Gia's mom will put a "hit" on Jake if he doesn't choose her. Scary.
I hated Ali's cry! I kept yelling at her,"STOP pulling your hair out!" Sheesh! She is beyond stupid. Personally, I think she was fishing for Jake to say, "You are the one Ali. I want to marry you." And I agree with Joyce - totally was bugged with her draping her legs all over Jake at the end. It even bugged Steve.
And last but not least, Vienna Sausage. Everytime I see her face the theme song from "Mister ED" rings through my head. "A horse is a horse, of course of course!"
And I thought the very same thing when her family said that EVERY GIRL she's around HATES her! Ask Steve. I was yelling, "That should tell you something! Hello!"
I'm so annoyed. And another annoying thing was Vienna Sausage's dad's glasses. Yowza! Jake, your kids will be doomed to having lazy eyes and wearing coke bottle glasses. Think of the children, Jake. Think of the children.
I think the only reason Ali left was because they offered her the option of being the next Bachelorette. Who wouldn't pick that over MAYBE getting chosen by Jake? No one would leave being in the top four after coming all that way for their job. It has to be a network stunt. I also noticed that all of the final 4 girls are REALLY needy. Tenley appears to come from a good family, but has just come from a bad marriage. Jake reminds me of those overly confident and CONTROLLING guys we all know. THey have to be with someone who NEEDS them. Hence the totally different, different looking, but all needy final 4. Jake is one of those guys that never REALLY falls in love. He just wants to be needed by someone but doesn't really ever form a strong bond. That's my opinion anyway. I've dated a few Jakes. Blech. That being said, I think Gia and Vienna are both disgusting and Tenley's voice drives me nuts! SHe reminds me of Jennie Garth. Let's face it, no one really cares who wins at this point.
Ok, totally dead on about Gia's family, they were weird!!! I wouldn't want her mom for a mother in Law.
Ali's date I think went really well, she looked really cute and her hair was actually fixed, on the hometown date, not at the rose ceremony. But that is hilarious, I just watched that episode of seinfeld like 2 days ago! Love it! And I liked Ali's mom, where is her dad? I can't remember. But total chemistry there, and I LOVE Boston, so that is even better!
Tenley is my fav right now too, and I too want her coat and her boots! She looked so cute! And I love Oregon!! The dance was alittle akward, but her calves and her arms were to die for!! Her voice bugs, but I defenitly liked her family the best they were just normal and down to earth.
Vienna..... really is there anything left to say about this girl, she just needs to go and the way Jake talks about her, you can tell he is not into her as much as the other girls.
Ali, you are stupid, but I hope he lets her come back. I am so excited to see what happens next week!! Oh and Jake really needed to loose the necklas, did you see that? It was buggin and he shouldn't have been wearing that! All I want to say is who is hosting the finale party????!!!!
Great recap like always! I seriously wanted to throw my remote at the tv last night. I don't know about this show anymore, there's just been too much this season ENOUGH ALREADY!!! Vienna bugs me sooo bad, she really needs to go, and did I miss something or was last night the first time her being divorced came up I don't ever remember her telling Jake, gese that's all Jake and Tenley talk about but I guess he's not concerned about Vienna's past??? Ali makes me so mad, I don't know what my deal is, I see someone cry, like really cry, and here comes my tears, so of course when she was bawling last night, so was I (so embarrasing to admit, but like I said on facebook, I'm blaming it on the pregnancy, lol). I really hope Ali comes back, she was my favorite, my next favorite is Tenley but I still don't see her with him (or Gia or especially Vienna). Anyways I could go on and on, thanks for the recap, can't wait to see what happens next week.
I think Jake told everyone who wins right from the very start..."I'm not going to do what everyone wants me to do, people will be surprised when I don't pick the obvious one." I give him and Mr. Ed about two weeks after the finale. Then he'll put her out to pasture.
Ali...Ali....Ali....did you really think he was going to tell you that you were "THE ONE"? He hadn't had a chance to get it on with all the others yet. It's a TV show with a script. If he had said "it's you Ali!! It's you!!" it woulda kinda spoiled the surprise overnight visits where they have 'the choice' to bonk with Jake. I think she's going to have a huge case of 'woulda-shoulda-coulda'......
I hate to be a spoiler. But Jake ends up with Vienna. It's all over the internet. Okay, now I think he is slime.
That was seriously funny!
So, totally agree on everything. Although, I hope that Ali doesn't come back or Jake doesn't take her back. Cause that's so annoying. When Ed did it with Jillian, it's cute that he came back and all but now it's been done and I don't think it should be allowed anymore on the show. It's not fair for the other girls because it steals attention from them and automatically gives the "leaver" a cuteness factor for coming back.
I hope he picks Tenley. The dancing thing was weird but also slightly endearing. It's pretty sad that her ex never came to see her dance. And, she has way hot legs. I think Tenley is by far the most QUALITY person on the show.
Ali and Jake are cute together but I can totally see Ali being one of those mom's that puts lots of effort into their kids being popular and then runs around gossiping about everyone. The neighborhood gossip mom. Yuck.
Gia is still sweet, but come on. She's already dated 2 pro athletes...is this a pattern? She needs to be with someone in the limelight?
Vienna. I think she's fun and lighthearted but not ready to be a wife and especially a mother! Besides, an inner-glow of skankiness is beaming from every one of her pores.
Go Tenley!
um, you will remember that my mom's family is from st. lucia. that they all but own the island? i went there several times as a child... there's as much to dislike as there is to like about that place.
Post a Comment