Jake the Flying Bachelor Part 1

I have a hunch that many of you Bachelor fans out there are counting on a recap of last night's (and future) Bachelor episodes. Even though I haven't updated about the thing that's most dear to me--my sweet family-- in AGES, believe me when I say I have my priorities straight and I'll blog about last night's episode before my loving family. For YOU, my fans. But stay tuned because I do have lots of Christmas/New Year pics to post. And stories about Faith.

Moving on...

I think I speak for everyone when I say how incredibly corny it was to play the song 'On the Wings of Love'. It was bad enough that they named it 'On the Wings of Love', but to actually PLAY the song? GAG!!! But, we all know that Jake is a total cornball. I think the corny song fits along with his corny personality. It's a good thing he's got great abs to keep us all watching.

First off, let me say how happy I am he got rid of Channy (a.k.a. Tranny). Oh, sorry. That was mean. It's just that... did you notice how when she spoke her mouth didn't move? Her teeth stayed together. It was a really strange phenomenon. Also... her 'landing strip' joke was disgusting.
See ya later Tranny Channy!


The girl I was MOST dissapointed he got rid of was Shiela. She was a pilot, she was cute... she was non-trashy. I really liked her. Jake loses some SERIOUS points immediately for getting rid of her. Even Jillian and Ed thought she should have stayed. Tsk Tsk, Jake.

And speaking of Ed and Jillian, did you get the feeling just for a sec that Jake doesn't know how to make decisions for himself? The way he said, "who should I get rid of?" and "who should I keep?" made me sort of think he was one of those guys who's really going to love marrying some nag to boss him around all the time because he can't think for himself.

Isn't it amazing how I can see the future after the first episode? I'm psychic!


I'm EXTREMELY dissapointed he kept Ashley. You know, the chick who dressed up in that horrid flight attendant costume and then the camera panned up her legs so you could see just how short the dress really was. Not only do I NOT think she's cute, but she and Jake would have hugely big-headed children. She said so herself that the cap that came with the outfit wouldn't fit on her big noggin'. And Jake's head is a teense too big for his body too. Ewww on Ashley.


Next up, Rozlyn. Rozlyn who thinks she is the hottest girl in the room. She's had some major facial work done. Lips, eyes, cheeks, botox. She looks fake. And orange. Also, do ANY of the girls NOT have boob jobs? I'm curious.

Oh, that's right. Christina doesn't. She was talking about her 'baby boob's' and I couldn't stop laughing. At least she admits she's jealous. She may be one of those girls I love to hate. The jelly bean pass out was sort of annoying though. How to win friends and influence people, Christina. C'mon. Oh, and who plays 'Airplane' on a first date? Isn't that reserved for when you're... I don't know.... 2 years old?



Now, on to the girls I think he WILL keep around a while. But it doesn't mean I'm happy about it. At least, not with all of them. I'll start with the most annoying first because it's more fun that way.

Crazy Michelle. Who started bawling an hour into the show. It's too bad that's she's a psycho hose beast because she's actually pretty and non-plastic looking. But as soon as she started talking, you knew there were some SERIOUS issues with this chick. And... perhaps I should give Jake some credit in thinking for himself (though he did a crappy job doing it) because Ed and Jillian warned him to get rid of the crazy chick, but Jake kept her around anyway. Ya know, since she's so emotionally 'in tune' and all. She's going to be fun to watch though. I can't wait!!


Next we have Ella. She's a single mom with a little boy named Ethan. She sounds sweet, right? But is it just me or does she seem totally slutty? Time will tell, I suppose. We do know that ABC has confirmed that one of the girls on the show was involved with a male producer. We just don't know who it is yet. Not that I'm saying it's Ella.

Actually, if I was going to guess who it was I'd say Vienna. The chick with the WORST name besides Channy. How can you not think of Vienna fingers when you think of Vienna? I'm almost positive that Vienna will be the one that sticks around way too long. She'll be this season's Wes. The one EVERYONE wants gone, but Jake will just keep her around way too long. Plus, she reminds me of Mr. Ed.

I'll save my three favorites for last. I really like Elizabeth from Nebraska. She's pretty and she seems funny and charismatic. I think she'll be around for a while.

Tenley is cute too. At first I thought it was annoying and dumb that she cried over giving Jake a tiny peck on the lips, but once she explained herself with the whole marriage thing, I liked her more. We know she's been married before and she was a virgin when she got married. That tells me that she's probably a pretty wholesome gal. I wonder how she'll fit in with the rest of the tramps. Hang in there, Tenley!



And my #1 pick? Most favorite girl of all??
Ali. She and Jake seemed to have the most chemistry from the get-go. I like that she tripped and ripped her dress and then said to the other girls that she can always say ''that's when I fell for you". She's very cute and seems to fit with Jake the easiest out of all the girls. I really like her and already want her to win. A little premature, you say? Perhaps.



Okay. Tell me what you thought of last night's episode and who your pics are. I gotta know!! Plus, if you want me to continue these recaps, I'm going to need feedback, people. You know what a lazy blogger I am.